Freitag, 23. Mai 2014


You know, it's funny sometimes the twists life takes...

I was diagnosed with Epilepsy last November when I had two seizures. And they weren't the first seizures I'd had. I've had several since 2008. 

One day you're fine, living healthy and keeping fit with lots of sports. The next day you wake up and find out you're going to have to live with Epilepsy for the rest of your life. 

Well, it could be worse- it's not fatal. You just have to take your medicine on time and have the constant care of a neurologist. He watches your blood and your EEGs and adjusts the meds accordingly. You also have to adapt your lifestyle. 

As long as you're careful and don't have a really severe form you can almost live normally. You just have to keep it at the back of your mind all the time and be very watchful. 

I love to swim but am now scared to death of going into the water. If a seizure were to come there's nothing anybody can do to help you. 

My latest seizures (I have two at a time) happened while I was standing in front of a class teaching English. My students sure freaked! Then I woke up in the hospital and I freaked! The first thing the doc said was, "As of now your driving privileges are suspended". He didn't even give me time to get my orientation back, and you need quite a while to recover from a grand mal seizure.  

People with Epilepsy are really stigmatized by many, many people. They don't really understand the illness and some even think all epileptics are mentally retarded. But I'm a normal person with at least average intelligence. I work full time, I lift weights 5-6 days a week, bicycle long distance and do Taekwondo. I'm very physically fit, except for the Epilepsy. Nobody would know by looking at me. 

People are always afraid you're going to have a seizure when you're with them, even though my seizures are under control through medication. All I have nowadays are so called simple partials, and nobody even notices when you have them, unless you tell them. I have to live with them. The meds prevent them from turning into big ones- as long as the dosage is right. Your neurologist is constantly monitoring everything and increases the dosage as needed, usually a couple times a year. 

Well, my cousin is in the hospital right now getting chemotherapy for cancer and won't live more than a year or two, so I'm actually a lucky man...

Sonntag, 15. Dezember 2013

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she appears...

Does anyone know that feeling?

You've been alone for oh so long, a solitary heart, a lone warrior. 
You need no one when it comes right down to it,
You're sovereign, independent and self-confident.

Then suddenly, without warning, she appears...

She radiates peace, self-assurance and warmth,
Her voice is like warm oil flowing down your body,
You tremble with excitement when she looks your way. 

You want to run to her,
be close to her,
take her in your arms,
look deep into her eyes,
immerse yourself in her very being,
kiss her lips...

You tell yourself to stop being silly,
that you're a lone puma, 
meant to traverse this world in solitary peace, 
alone and independent. 

You gather all your strength and put her out of your mind,
try and go on with your business,
but she won't stay out of your mind, 
she's back within seconds. 

You write her a text,
call her on the phone,
your whole body lightly trembling with excitement, 
and what's that...?
What do you sense in her voice, 
her every word?

Is it possible?
Do you really feel her longing for you too?
Yes, she seems to be showing it loud and clear.
You feel her heart reaching out to you,
wanting to be close...

A rush of warm feelings washes over you,
immerse you in hot, all-consuming, beautiful flames.

You know you're going to have to surrender. 
No man can stand up under such a mighty, powerful thing...

Mittwoch, 8. Mai 2013


People sure don't comment much on my blog...
One of the reasons I don't post very often...


Wow, I haven't written anything in ages!

Summer has finally come to Germany! Well, kinda...

I'm so lucky to have such great, tolerant neighbors. My balcony is kind of right out there in the middle of everything, so I went around to all of them and explained that I'm a naturist and would like to be nude out on the balcony.

They all said that they didn't mind!!!

Samstag, 14. Juli 2012

Nature Lovers

I’m glad that Germans are much more open toward nudity than the people in many other countries, including my own home, the USA. I am a naturist and I spend a good share of my life in the nude. I’m always nude at home, for example. All of my friends know that I’m a naturist and most of them don’t have any problem with me remaining nude when they visit, or getting nude when I visit them. During the summer months I spend as much time as possible at the lake, which is of course clothing-optional (as are basically all lakes in Germany). It’s also possible to take long hikes in the nude here in Germany, especially if you have a woman along, clothed or unclothed. On top of that I do quite a lot of nude modelling and photo shootings often take place in public places here. I sometimes do live body paintings at expositions as well. That means that a whole lot of people see me in the nude. The reactions are almost always either positive or neutral. Some of the people who see me make use of their right not to look at my nude body, which is fine with me. I couldn’t care less whether the people around me look at me or not when I’m nude. I’m nude for me, not for anybody else. I’ve only experienced a negative reaction once in around 19 years of living nude. I was screamed at and cursed at by an elderly couple, simply because I had nothing on! Blogs, magazine articles, as well as TV shows have given me the impression that such people automatically assume that my nudity is sexually orientated. Yet nothing could be farther from the truth. Being nude in itself doesn’t turn me on, even if other people are around. When my girlfriend and I are naked together behind closed doors, well, that’s a different story. But sex is the farthest thing from my mind while I’m lying at the lake or taking a nude hike. I’m too busy enjoying the warmth of the sun and the movement of the air on my entire skin and feeling the earth under my bare feet to think of sex. In other words, being nude is sensuous but not sexual, except in the right place at the right time. Another thing; when I take off my clothes I feel like I am just me, no additives and no preservatives. I’m able to connect with myself and find inner balance. I’m at one with myself and the world. I’d like to say the following to all who are 100% against nudity; Many people claim to love nature, yet they insist that the human body be held in a completely unnatural, sometimes even unhealthy condition! The human body is 100% pure nature. If you can’t handle the human body, you can’t handle nature, regardless of how loud you claim the opposite. Many people claim to be animal lovers (especially here in Germany). All animals that are kept by people are supposed to be afforded conditions appropriate to their species. The human species, however, must be kept in an inappropriate condition. Most naturists, myself included, feel like they’re locked in an extremely tight cage when they have clothes on, similar to chickens in tiny cages barely bigger that their own bodies on one of those huge, industrial chicken farms that you read about. Germans refuse to by eggs from such chicken farms, yet the same people live in cages themselves and insist that I live in a cage as well! For me that is not only arrogant, but a grave violation of my human rights as well. I am forced to live in a tight, merciless cage which restricts my freedom of movement and lowers my quality of life, just because society as a whole has never developed past adolescence in their attitude toward the human body! If someone else chooses to live in a cage it’s none of my business. Yet the opposite is true as well. If I choose to live in freedom it’s my business and the cage people should just keep on walking and look the other way. I don’t expect everyone to understand or agree with my attitude. I think each individual should decide for themselves and act accordingly. All I ask is to be left alone to do as I see fit.